My Favorite Things Natalies Pick

My Favorite Things Natalies Pick Love that my former client, Natalie  (who you might remember from her How to Get Your Mojo Back post), decided to write about the book that helped most with her quit-your-job-itis for  my new-ish monthly series,  My Favorite Things. I am so not into self-help books; in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever actually read one. But Finding  your own North Star by Martha Beck rocked my socks. I read (and worked) in this book when I  was going through the toughest time in my full-time job and it helped center me as I was going  through the process of quitting. The subtitle of the book is “Claiming the Life you Were Meant to Live” and that is exactly what  the book helps you to do. There are thought-provoking exercises that help readers get to the  heart of what is holding them back from embracing their true path in life. As Beck shows  through examples, we can get stuck in the life we think we should be living and not actually ever  live the life we want. This, naturally, results in heartache, unhappiness, ennui. But since we are  doing “the right things” by earning a living and pleasing everyone else, there is a huge  disconnect for us â€" our essential selves (“the essence of your personality” 4) are crying for help  because they are out of sync with our social selves (“the part of you that developed in response to  pressures from the people around you”, 4). Beck stresses that our essential selves will assert themselves when we are not being true to them  (20). This was a revelation to me â€" no wonder I was going into work every morning with a knot  in my stomach and coming home every evening crying. No wonder that I started crying in  Zumba class one night, out of nowhere, thinking about how exercise should be helping me get  over the stress and sadness caused by my job. Several statements in the book resonated with me and I’ll share one here. Ever wonder why you  just can’t get comfortable around certain people? “The essential self…doesn’t want you to be  equally comfortable around just anybody. Life is too short…” (28). Yes. That makes sense.  Why surround yourself with people who drain you? Why allow people to make you feel bad?  The essential self gets this and wants to get you out of there. While I had already made the decision (or at least, my essential self had) to leave my job, this  book helped reinforce that what I was feeling was valid and important. I think it is hard not to  feel selfish â€" that’s the social self talking â€" when we do things like walk away from toxic  situations or quit our jobs. For me, I was so scared of not contributing, of people thinking that I  was a slacker, or that I was lazy. But Beck’s book helped me realize something my essential self  already knew â€" that I was unhappy and that would never change until I moved closer to what my  essential self wanted. This book helped me realize that and realize that it was okay to feel that  way. Read it! Do the exercises! Cheer your North Star! Natalie is a returned Peace Corps Volunteer, event coordinator, and co-founder of a programming and event consulting business.  She blogs at  whatrhymeswithorange.org. *************** Two things to remind ya of: An Effective Escape will be $37 as of Wed/Thurs (when my site relaunches) instead of the $19 it is now. Buy it before my site flips over youll be emailed Version 2.0 as soon as its ready. And you only have til the end of the week to win a 32 Samsung LED TV or a pair of Six Flags tickets  from my boobs.